fuck II

fuck. i should be working on thesis revisions right now, but i can't stop thinking 'why?'. why doesn't she want me? i've received some answers, but they never answer that question 'why?'. i guess even if i did know why, it wouldn't improve my state of mind. i guess i just have to digest the fact of it. but fuck ... it is fucking painful to love someone, to want to be with them, and have them not reciprocate that desire. coupled with no clear reason why, my mind can't stop running and re-running everything about her through my memories. i can't focus on anything else. i am in love with her.